So, after some self-discovery, self-reflection, joy, loss, laughter, and many bruises along the way, I realize mid-life, we all have had enough time on earth to look back on all we have seen and done, and I finally get it! A friend shared joy versus happiness. Great discussion. Some of us are so filled with joy and love down deep, how I’ve always seen myself at my core, but it doesn’t mean that rains do NOT fall on ALL of us from time-to-time. I think that’s the biggest lesson I finally resolved. Yes, if you’re wondering why it’s taken so long to figure that out after a quarter century, well, I guess I’m remedial.
I see the people with huge hearts suffer, the folks with contempt and spite suffer similarly. Life, simply has all those ingredients, no matter where one finds one’s self.
So more journey and journaling. A big change is coming about for this girl. Not the kind where friends wouldn’t recognize me. A change, like an adjustment but in permanence, but truly transforming to better cope with trauma, unkindness, loss, and fatigue side effects, all while still being able to be filled with profound joy, well wishes for the good we see in people and love of self and those who have been apart of our earthly journey. Well, maybe appreciation, for some particular folks from the past; love might be stretching it.
More to come later. Sorry for the absence. All I can say is I hope to be better going forward. In the meantime, I have a daughter attending NYU and she has a professor who assigned a survey to the class. I actually enjoyed the quick link of three or four questions. Especially ranking “taboo words from 1-13! She would greatly appreciate having some friends of mine, my age group, to participate. So, if you’re game, I think you’ll find it a bit fun. And I would say thank you in advance. Back soon and know I’m loving this assignment of finding the girl from long ago. Here, we go!
The survey- is right here:
NYU class survey for us old folks! https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZNMKFTM
On The Way To Happy 
I am so pleased to see our girl is back writing again. You have come to many realizations of late and they all seem to be in the right direction! Keep it up kiddo.
Whole new perspective. Built upon a similar core. Feels peaceful where i am- even though very little is settled for “the girl” and still much contempt to endure. But its a choice of the course i chose to take! Or at least give it one hellova try! But its a lifetime of learning and training. So onward! Thx Jane. Glad to be back!