I keep thinking about Maria Shriver, a dear friend, MP, another long-time friend, JB and countless others who have navigated the uncharted waters of recreating a life at a scary yet exciting phase in life. Transition to finding a new career not just an income or a way to obtain healthcare, but a commitment to finding what it is that is important at a stage in life which is full of change and compliments the experience one has lived to date. Or possibly a new committed relationship or ending one. Some may be considering finally facing a fear or childhood experience that has held a soul hostage. Whatever the transition or redefining topic, change is tough. On the flip-side, it is also extremely exhilarating. I find my current situation somewhat like meeting an attractive man who I’m really interested in pursuing and wondering if he feels the same. I have my dream of publishing my book someday, but will publishers or audiences like what I feel I need to share? Because I don’t know the answers to what I fear, I have decided to continue pursuing my wish.
Why not? Various people around the globe gain exposure or a following for all sorts of reasons. The chances for me to be discovered, or appreciated by like-minded individuals, could occur. Exposure happens to some, so my attitude is “why not me?”
But in those moments of self-doubt, the one thing that has kept me going and I have payed-it forward time and time again, came from a very dear guy friend, AP who said, “Just keep breathing.”
When reading those words in his message to me at the onslaught of my divorce, it brought tears to my eyes because breathing was as difficult as smiling, eating, getting out of bed. One would never guess I was the one who filed for divorce. I know, crazy. The fact was I didn’t want a divorce, yet the troubles inside our marriage were finally nearing a breaking point and the last strategic move I felt I had left, was to ask for a divorce and hope that R would wake up and realize what he would lose, what I would lose, what our children would lose, what was really worth changing and fighting to save. It didn’t happen. Breathing, actually was the basic first step.
Concentrating on my breath led to being able to get out of bed, which led to eating more, and so on and so on. So the key to any scary, uncomfortable, anxiety producing worry, is to simply breathe and keep breathing. Thank you AP, you will never likely know how you’ve helped create the girl I am, the girl I am to become and giving me the strength to find the girl from yesteryear that I really liked so well.
On The Way To Happy 