Tonight was interesting. You know the “first time” you have to see someone after a big altercation or after a break-up or maybe an awkward parting of ways? That is what I was doing this evening. This was an evening of a high school play for our youngest daughter, who is still navigating secondary school. It was my first public appearance, with not only my ex, but his parents, as well. It might be worth mentioning that the last time I saw my ex at our daughter’s school, he shoved me in front of a crowd of adults and in front of our daughter. It was dysfunction in perfect form. So, needless to say, I was a bit on edge as I drove to her school.
What makes it even more interesting is the fact that I hadn’t spoken to either of my in-laws for almost a year, after the storm of our divorce fully engaged into a perfect storm last spring and became disgustingly ugly between all parties far and wide. But, of course, in usual form, my in-laws were superb. The opposing family subscribes to the old “what elephant in the room”? It’s actually very frustrating most of the time, and sometimes a bit funny after raising our children to scream, “Look at the elephant everyone!”. And tonight, I have to say, it was actually the first time I would say, it was a blessing.
I was nervous, but with my posture perfect, I came across, as I try often to do as the most confident, comfortable girl in the room. And don’t think I didn’t take a good two and a half hours to ensure I looked as good as possible. And all that preparation and worry was wasted time. Once the play was over, we walked into the lobby and my ex mother in-law walked by and I tapped her on the shoulder saying, “Hey, you missy,” and she turned around with a warm grin and a nice hug. So from the darkest days of our divorce, today there was light that felt more like the old days of normalcy.
Time had danced around all of us allowing each of us the chance to change partners, modify steps and become comfortable with all of the new turns that would make up the modern dance of today. Truly, the only thing that really mattered was seeing our daughter smiling with her grandparents, laughing with her father and asking for a photo with all of us. This was divorce at its best.
Emerson wrote, of what defines success and I was reminded today. Reading a passage on a friend’s Facebook favorite quotes, has me thinking and pondering friendship. So often when one faces the death of a marriage, so too, we are often forced to evaluate every aspect of life, including friendships. Recently, I was told by a casual friend, whom I admire, that I select friends poorly.
On The Way To Happy 
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